Bottom Feeder: one that is of the lowest status or rank, or an opportunist who seeks quick profit usually at the expense of others or from their misfortune.
RAJ, who’s been writing about us, has asked me to take over his blog. And about time too if you ask me because it’s been pretty buzzard bo-ring up to now. When I asked the other two (Ellie and Ruff) what I should write about, they were really helpful and just said ‘stuff’. So I had a think and then remembered last Tuesday’s French lesson.
Right at the beginning of term, out French teacher, madam Chang, gave us all French names to use when we were in class. They’re all pretty gonk names. Mine is Marcel, Ellie’s is Claudine and Ruff’s is Serge. We do sometimes use these names between ourselves when we don’t want other people to know who we’re talking about. So it is sort of useful. Of course, Ruff thinks his name is hysterical and after every French lesson goes about the place insiting people salute him because he is Serge. Ellie has pointed out to him that sergeants don’t get saluted in the army, but Ruff is having none of it. Though, when he tried to get Skinner to salute him, Skinner just laughed out loud and called him Sergeant *$%*, except the word he used made Ellie turn bright red and call him a ‘bottom feeder’. It was a pretty poor response considering the word Skinner’d used, but it did make him think. At least we thought that was what he was doing, judging from the pained look on his face. Mind you, could just have easily been a sudden attack of mega constipation, there was no telling with Skinner. Ruff, who’d eaten his own plate of chicken curry at lunchtime and half of Aaron’s , who hadn’t wanted it because he thought it tasted of ‘squirrel dunked in pepper’ (though how he’d know what a squirrel dunked in pepper tasted like in the first place is a bit worrying), thought calling Skinner a ‘bottom feeder’ was brilliant. Quick as a flash, he lifted his leg and let go a real raspberry whistler of a trouser trump and said to Skinner,
“Yeah, Skinner, bottom feed on that.”
Course, Skinner went ballistic and threw a half empty carton of blackberry juice at Ruff. Luckily, he ducked in time and it missed him. But it did hit a year ten guy called Strachan who plays in the back row for the second rugby team and is, so Ruff says, half yeti. I have never seen Skinner run so fast in all my life.
Anyway, I’ve got maths homework to do thanks to Badger Breath Boggs, our maths teacher, who I reckon is a bottom feeder too. Two guesses why he’s called badger breath…