In Miss Arkwright’s class, we had a discussion about careers. Everyone had to say what they’d like to do as a profession.
Tracey Roper came up with being a contestant on Big Brother–so that she could end up being a model making loads from opening branches of Primark.
Jenks said teacher, which surprised us all including Miss Arkwright. When she asked him why he said that he could think of 2 good reasons straight away, half of July and all of August. Then he started to sing the chorus from Madonna’s ‘Holidayeees”
She was not amused.
Sandra Ojo said that if she couldn’t get a job in Hogwarts, she’d try and do a course in muggle studies somewhere anyway. Miss Arkwright had to tell her that such courses didn’t exist, or if they did they were probably called sociology.
Ruff Adams said he’d probably like to do something with computers and Ellie said she’d like to be a personal trainer.
Loads of people didn’t have a clue. But Skinner, well Skinner surprised us all by having a plan. He was either going to be a footballer or someone like David Blaine. Miss Arkwright made the mistake of asking him why.
“Footballer, because it’s loads of dosh for 90 minutes work every week. I’m mad for that. And David Blaine because you can play a lot of angry birds living in a glass cube hanging from a crane for 3 weeks. Yeah that’s me alright.”
I had to admit, there was a sort of weird logic to all of that.
Welcome to planet Skinner.
As for me, I said I’d like to search for historical artefacts.
Jenks, being a class one armpit who thinks he’s clever said, “Ooh, that’s a big word Chambers. I’d better write it down.”
His cronies all sniggered.
And then Ruff said, “Steady on Jenks, it’s got more than three letters and you know what the doctor said about straining yourself.”
Jenks was so mad he couldn’t even speak and when he did it just made things worse because he got flustered. “Shut up Adams, you roe tag.”
The bell went for first lesson, but me, Ellie and the roe-tag had to wait behind until my stomach stopped aching from all the laughing.