Sometimes, you just have to sit back and chill.
We’ve been doing loads of work at school and everyone’s got fed up with the news that the government want us to go back to doing ‘O’ levels instead of GCSE’s.
“But I don’t know anything about owls,” Tracy said.
I didn’t say anything. Harry Potter has a lost to answer for.
“They’re really hard, my dad says,” added Sandra. “And no course work. All on one exam at the end.”
“I’m useless at exams,” Tracy whined. “I’ll need extra time.”
“Why not go straight for the penalty shoot out,” I said.
They were not amused.
And then The Volcano insists on doing these really long, themed assemblies. Any excuse: Patron saints, the death of someone famous, save a toad day, you name it. They’re a bit like Google Doodle but a hundred times more boring and without the chance to flick over to Halo online.
Last week, on the one hot day we’ve had this June, it was Russia day. So we listened to some famous music by Tchaikovsky and The Volcano went on about the Russian Steppes. Of course Skinner wanted to know if they were doing a comeback tour.
As if that wasn’t enough, Deepak fainted during Swan lake. No one knew what to do, so I said to Ruff
“You grab one leg and I’ll grab the other.”
“What do we do then, make a wish?”
Luckily the hall floor is wooden so it didn’t take much effort to drag him off to the side, even if we were giggling so much we managed to give the floor a polish at the same time. The Volcano saw us and straight away got the wrong end of the stick.
“You two,” she roared. ‘What are you doing. This is not a circus.”
What we should have done was walked away protesting our innocence, but Ruff, begin Ruff, couldn’t do that.
‘Sorry miss, but Deepak’s just fallen off his trapeze.”
I think The Volcano had her funny gland removed at birth.