Seabourne County School just had an inspection!
We had to be on our best behaviour and all the teachers dressed up really nicely. Badger-breath Boggs even brushed his teeth so that they looked less like bits of garden fence and more like grey tombstones.
Not a pretty sight.
Miss Arkwright had a plain Alice band instead of one on the ones she usually wears that look like they come from an explosion in a paint factory.
Miss Swinson, deputy head (aka The Volcano) read us the riot act in assembly. She said that the inspectors would be especially interested in how the school was doing in basic literacy.
Ellie muttered that someone ought to re-do the graffiti near the back gate because whoever wrote, ”Bloko is a fat mes,” needs a spelling lesson.
“As you know, we here at Seabourne County pride ourselves on teaching the three R’s,” the Volcano said.
“Like in pirate school,” Skinner said, “Argh, argh, argh.”
That caused a little titter. But Ruff cam up with the best one.
‘Nah, the three R’? That’s easy. Reading and ‘rithmatic, innit?”
I think, from the look on her face, that the Volcano heard him. Either that or she’d just stepped on a nail.