Okay, first off, this blog is not about anyone with a bow and arrow, so my bad. But since THG is about to hit our screens, I thought you might like to know about what happened when the three of us had to stay in Badger Breath Boggs’ maths class for an extra fifteen minutes Friday lunchtime and we had our own little hunger game. Now I get hungry by 12.30 and so does Ellie, but Ruff—well he gets positively cranky. The three of us had important stuff to talk about—like asking Ruff if he’d broken the code on the note we found in the clock in my dad’s study. And if he’d turned into the hungry monster, then we could forget it. But Boggs’ wanted his pound of flesh because half of the class had got less than 60% in the last test we did. We’d still be there now if Ellie hadn’t come up with something so amazingly brilliant that she should definitely get a medal. You see, Boggs was having a rant:
BBB: “Don’t you understand that mathematics is not just another subject? It is fundamental to any and every career you could possibly undertake. The actual key to the universe? Have you any idea how many people in the world don’t even have the most basic clue about fractions.”
No one said anything for about a minute and then Ellie put her hand up.
ELLIE: “Umm, five out of every four, sir?”
The room didn’t just fall silent, it plummeted into speechlessness. I thought BBB was going to have a major wobbly, but then he started to laugh.
No one had ever tried a maths joke before. And seeing BBB’s nicotine stained teeth on full display and the sort of gurgling laugh that ended up in him having a coughing fit was not pleasant, I can tell you. But it worked. He actually smiled at Ellie—she said she didn’t sleep that after seeing that smile. But it broke the BBB spell and at least we made lunch and Ruff managed two puddings on top of lasagne and chips. So all was well with the world—well sort of—because Ruff hadn’t broken the code. But you can read more about all that here. The Obsidian pebble.