I love exams.
Well actually I don’t. But I know who hates them more than I do. Kieron Skinner. Skinner is Lee Jenkins ‘muscle’, except he doesn’t have any. Jenks is a real charmer (not) and Skinner just tags along. One day he’ll grow up and find that he does actually have a brain. He’s the sort of bloke who’d sum you up in one word by saying, “stupid git”. In the café the other day, they were tormenting Anya, who is at least two years younger than them. Then they started slagging off me and Ellie about football;
Yeah. Girls shouldn’t play football anyway,” Skinner added nastily
“I’d like to see you two say that to her. She’s better than most of the blokes in our year,” Oz said.
”Yeah? How would you know, Chambers? You can’t even play,” Skinner sneered.
“Yes he can.” Ruff bristled.
“What, in the yard at break time? That’s not real football, is it?”
“If it means playing against idiots like you, I’m not interested,” Oz said.
“You’re pathetic, Chambers,” Jenks said with such vehemence that flecks of saliva flew from his mouth on to the table.
“Yeah, and next time find your own drink to steal,” Skinner whined.
THE OBSIDIAN PEBBLE (Chpt 5)
Anyway, we found some of Skinner’s exam answers for English. It was just a vocab test, but Skinner really did take the basket (one of his). Read on, you’ll find out what I mean.
Please define the following words.
Doldrums – Barbie’s bongos
Acne — Where my cousin lives in North London
Avalanche — Italian for dinner.
Lackey — Win the lottery.
Miasma: why I carry my inhaler?
Pylon – to mob a bus.
Stirrup – cause aggro.
Malaise – someone from malaria
Melancholy – genetically modified fruit.
Mollify – spell to turn someone into a mole
Pacify — spell to get by someone quickly.
I could go on…