You just knew it was going to end badly when our new teacher—well he isn’t a teacher yet, he’s a student teacher—said he was going to do a lesson on describing what people do. Words that is.
“Anyone know what a cardiologist is?”
“Someone who looks after hearts, sir?” Marcus Skyrme said.
“Correct Marcus. So what about a horologist?”
Tracy Roper, who’d said that Mr Endersby was quite hot, put her hand up. An act so rare, Ellie almost fainted with surprise.
“Yes, Tracy?” Mr Endersby said.
“Someone who really, really likes scary stories , sir?”
“No, we’re not talking science fiction and fantasy here, not quite, Tracy. Think tick-toc.”
Tracy thought. It was painful to watch. Then her eyes lit up. “Someone who likes little white minty sweets, sir?”
I think I heard Mr Endersby actually whimper.
Skinner, who was busy seeing how far a piece of chewing gum would stretch, yawned and mumbled, “Anyone got a time-turner?.”
Mr Endersby heard him and said, “Oh very good, Kieron. Very droll. Of course Kieron is quite correct. A horologist is another name for a watchmaker.”
Skinner looked like someone had just hit him with a wet fish.
Mr Endersby paused and then made his eyes very big in a dramatic build up for the big one. “And now, what about a campanologist?”
“Don’t think I could eat a whole one, sir” Skinner said, cocky from his previous success.
That got him sent out of the room.
“No, I mean does anyone know what a campanologist is?”
Tracy’s hand went up again, but Endersby nipped it in the bud. “No Tracy, nothing to do with tents I’m afraid. Anyone? What if I said Quasimodo.”
Ruff, who’d been listening to all of this and who knew exactly what all of those words meant because he’d been playing Guildbuilder 4 on Nintendo since he was about five (moths that is), put his hand up.
Ruff hesitated and then said, “Oh, for a minute there when you said Quasimodo, I thought it was a name I knew but I was wrong, sir. It just doesn’t ring any bells.”
See, this is what I have to put up with.
And for those of you who still don’t get it, a campanologist is a bellringer.