It’s on the Internet, so it must be true.
That’s what Kieron Skinner keeps saying. His brother, who is older than him and spends a lot of time playing Assassin’s Creed when he’s not trying to make his Ford Ka look like a Formula 1 Go-kart, comes up with some real gems.
For example, Skinner came in to school the other day with a story his brother had told him about a woman in Oklahoma who bought a motor home. On her first trip home after watching a football game she set the cruise control at 70 mph and went to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, the woman sued the makers of the motorhome for not putting in the owner’s manual that she couldn’t actually leave the driver’s seat while the cruise control was set. Apparently, the jury had awarded the woman $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. It was also said that manufacturers actually changed their manuals as a result.
Skinner had Tracy Roper and Sandra Ojo spellbound.
When me and Ellie pointed out to him that this was an urban legend and that it was a fake story, he got really miffed. Trouble is there’s no arguing with Skinner.
“No one is really that stupid,” Ellie said.
“Yes they are,’ Ruff said and gave Skinner one of his looks. “Some people are still waiting for their Hogwarts letter.”
Skinner didn’t like that. “Are you calling my brother a liar?”
“No, just a small guitar.” I said.
Skinner sort of opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. So we let him believe what he wanted to believe because, like the world’s smallest pencil, I just didn’t see the point. Anyway, by that stage Tracy Roper had spotted the caretaker through the window. He was chasing after a stray crisp packet skittering across the yard in the wind.
Of course, Skinner was up on his feet in a second, yelling, “Fenton! Fenton!”
I tell you. you couldn’t make it up.
But Ellie, me and Ruff knew what was true and if we told the class they definitely wouldn’t believe us.