In assembly on the Friday before Seabourne School broke up for half-term, The Volcano, a.k.a Miss Swinson, Deputy Head, kept banging on about the importance of tradition. Something to do with it being the Queen’s jubilee week-end. So she kept on about how vital it was that we didn’t forget the lessons of the past.
“I can remember vividly my first day at secondary school. It was wonderful. Inkwells and blotting paper. Walking past the sweetshop in the village.–”
“She’s a size 22,” whispered Ellie. “She obviously didn’t walk fast enough.”
“In those days,” the Volcano went on, “We had to walk to school. There were no buses.”
‘Probably hadn’t even invented the wheel,’ muttered Ruff.
The Volcano didn’t hear that, but what she did hear was a lot of coughing and spluttering as year 7 tried to hide their giggles. She was not amused.
“I’ll thank you to show some respect,” she said with one of her milk-curdling stares.
A year 8 girl put her hand up.
“Did they have Eurovision in those days, miss? My mum says it’s a tradition too.”
For those of you living on another planet who missed last week’s Eurovision competition, it’s a cheesy glitzy songfest where every country in Europe is represented by a song voted upon by panels in each country. Great idea, except the songs are total pants and the acts all look like someone trapped in a disco for fifty years.
“Yes they did, Takeitha. And your mum is correct. It is a tradition. And one that has become admirable for its inclusiveness and the way it brings European culture together.”
“My dad says it’s a car crash full of people trying to be extras from a Bond film singing songs that make no sense. Plus it had Jedward. It was mental.”
The Volcano was actually lost for words.